The Stacks of DOOM

 The Main Stacks of U of I are easily recognized as one of the creepiest places on all of campus. I am writing this blog post to assure everyone that its reputation is totally deserved. It is terrifying there. Now, because I am the type of person who loves terrifying herself and getting herself into stupid and totally deserved situations, I go there to explore all the time. Here, I will chronicle some of the scary aspects of the Stacks, as well as some memorable moments from my exploring.

You can’t actually get into the Main Stacks without Ms. Arnold’s permission (never fear, there’s a way around that, read on), but also, the entire building is creepy anyway so you don’t even have to go into the Stacks if you don’t want to.

Places that are creepy in the Library Building (excluding the stacks)

-      The entire building is like a rabbit warren. I swear it was built by a madman. None of the corridors lead where you expect them to go, the maps are worse than useless, and pretty much the whole building looks the same. Have fun getting lost.

-      It’s SOO quiet all the time.

-      There’s this creepy room (which I can’t tell you where to find, refer to point 1) that I found with a giant pewter-ish gate that’s padlocked, and then when you peer through, you see these giant floor to ceiling bookshelves. I know it just sounds like I was looking at the Stacks, but it was completely dark and there were these weird chains hanging from the ceiling. Actual chains. I don’t know why, because I can’t find the room again.

-      The entire place is definitely a hangout for witches, demons, & other unnatural things.

-      in the Rare Book & Manuscript Library, they have actual books on summoning demons! It’s just a creepy place overall.

Of course, the really creepy part is the Stacks themselves. I’m sure we all remember the field trip, but let me refresh your memory. 10 (maybe) floors with minimal lighting, floor to ceiling bookshelves making these tiny claustrophobic corridors, the creepiest stairwells ever, an elevator from the time of the dinosaurs, and a million urban legends about college kids who got lost and never found their way out. Sound familiar?

I’m just going to give you some highlights of my time exploring the Stacks (all you need to do to get in is tell Ms. Arnold you have a research project and need some books; she never verifies it. No one tell her I do this though please) 

-      The main elevator’s door, which tried to close and then bounced off the frame and rebounded back into the other side. Either the elevator was completely broken, or a ghost had just entered it with me. I didn’t stick around long enough to find out.

-      Creepy noises coming from somewhere nearby me (I later figured out it was a shelver).

-      Wailing coming from the floor below (this I have no explanation for – I went down to look but there was no one there).

-      The sheer idea of being crushed inside of those mechanical moving shelves (this actually nearly happened to me once – again, I have no idea how, there was NOBODY around).

-      Getting lost. All the time. It is SO scary, because you get so turned around SO quickly – there are no windows, no frame of reference, and again, the maps are worse than useless.

-      The second elevator (which has too many problems to be covered in a single bullet point)

o  There is a second elevator all the way at the east end of the library (I think – again, no frame of reference).

-  I think it’s the east end because I tried to map it once (did not work), but also, the east end is where the entrance is, and I’m pretty sure they might be inhabiting the same space. This is obviously impossible, so it might actually be on the west end. If you wander around long enough, you always find it.

o  It is completely terrifying.

o  It was definitely installed during the Dark Ages.

- There’s maybe one square meter of floor space.

- There’s no LIGHT in it, except for the glowing buttons.

- It makes terrifying rattling noises.

- There’s no shock absorbers (or whatever it is that stabilizes an elevator) so when the doors open the elevator is still bouncing up and down and you can’t get out.

o  Finally, the most creepy, is that there is a “Floor 11” button in the secret elevator. THERE IS NO FLOOR 11! The maps don’t show it, the other elevator can’t access it, the stairs don’t go there – it literally doesn’t exist. The button is locked with a key, like Uni’s Attic, so I’ve never been there, but it’s still the scariest thing ever to me.

So that’s the Stacks. Have fun!

            

Cinnamon Stars

It’s fall now (the weather today convinced me to finally stop wearing tank tops) and that means I get to start all of my favorite fall traditions. These include staining my fingers permanently black from Inktober, visiting Spirit Halloween every weekend but never buying anything because I’m cheap, carving my pumpkins with the same obsessive perfectionism I apply to the rest of my life, and Zimtsterne.

Zimtsterne, or cinnamon stars, are a German cookie. Those of you in German 4 can attest that Sterne means star in German. Technically, these are a Christmas cookie, but I’m really good at ignoring things like that, so Zimtsterne are a part of mylife from October to March. Imagine a cookie somewhere between chewy and crumbly, baked with cinnamon almond flour instead of regular flour, and dipped in sugar glaze. That’s Zimtsterne. They’re star shaped (duh) and the most delicious thing EVER.

Zimtsterne is sort of a passion of my dad’s. That, and guacamole. Those are the two recipes he’s devoted his life to perfecting. He makes them all the time (like every weekend) and is always fidgeting with tiny things to try to improve it. The recipe in the book is covered in random contradictory scribbles.

Regardless, I’ll write the recipe from the actual book here, with summaries of some of my dad’s annotations in red, and if you want to make them, you can experiment with them yourself. Have fun.

1.   Whisk 3 egg whites and a pinch of salt until stiff. (Easiest way to get yolks out is just by using your hands. Also, NEVER NEVER NEVER whisk with a mixer. It makes them too light. Use a fork and sheer muscle power – takes longer, but definitely worth it.)

2.   Mix in 2 cups icing sugar.

3.   Set aside ½ cup of mixture as icing. (no fridge! Outside on patio works best!)

4.   Mix in 1½ tbsp. of cinnamon, ½ tbsp. lemon juice (basically one squirt), and four cups ground almonds until a dough is formed.

a.   SIDENOTE: ground almonds = almond flour from Trader Joe. No grocery store in CU (and I mean NO grocery store, we’ve looked) sells almond flour or ground almonds of the proper consistency. The perfect flour is somewhere between the coarsest almond flour in CU and the finest ground almonds. It’s really annoying. You have to travel to get the flour. Or just grind up your own, but our processor is really finicky.

b.   I recommend our method – go to Trader Joe’s once a year and buy all of the almond flour they have in stock. That stuff never expires. It’s literally an entire shelf of our pantry.

5.   Roll out dough (dust surface with powdered sugar, not flour. Flour ruins things.)

6.   Cut out with star shaped cutters (we have 4 different sizes. Really, just one is acceptable, but it’s more fun when they’re all different sizes.)

7.   Put on baking sheet with non-stick paper.

8.   Ice cookies with remaining sugar mixture (do NOT let dry beforehand)

9.   Thenleave to dry (the book says 6-12 hours, 2-4 days is better)

10.Preheat oven to 45 Fahrenheit.

11.Bake for 3-5 minutes. (Check @ 3, check @ 5, can go up to seven)

12.Let cool (at least 12 hours).

13.Now transfer in AIR-TIGHT containers to refrigerator (2 days is the lower limit, 1-2 weeks with no air is when they hit their prime chewiness and have the best flavor).

If you want to, you can add sprinkles or more icing decorations or whatever, but we never do. They’re best when they’re kept simple.

                                                                       

Sorry if this blog post seemed rambling, but these are literally the most perfect fall cookie ever designed and everybody needs to know about them.